People who drive in the left lane, the passing lane.  For those of you out there who understand what I mean by the left lane.  Example; you are on the highway, you pull out of the right lane to get into the left lane and proceed to pass the car on the right.  You pull into the right lane when it is safe to do so.  You get the picture.  Many people do not understand this simple and common practice across the country.  In some areas it is the flippin’ law yet there are those oblivious knuckleheads who just cruise along and disrupt the flow of traffic.  Boy does that get under my skin!  So many times I want to put my thumb and finger in the shape of an ‘L’ when I have to pass them on the right!!!  Damn dingdongs, get the hell out of the way!  Or how about those that just stay in the left lane their entire trip, doing the speed limit, riding side by side with the right lane driver and not aware that they have a line of vehicles behind them.  Or clueless as to why the person behind them are flashing their highbeams to move out of the damn way.  As much as I would love to just sail along, you have to be a considerate driver.  I know that considerate drivers are few and far between, but come on, after years of driving isn’t it common knowledge to move over?  They are as bad as rubberneckers.  That subject is for another day!

Ciao!

Someone asked me recently how often my husband and I are intimate.  I had to think about that for a moment.  Did she mean actual sex…do hand shakes count?  Kiss on the cheek?  Pat on the behind?  Of course I knew what she was asking but it is pretty sad that we get so caught up in the day to day that you might have to actually schedule a time for love-making.  Between work, school, kids and their social life, your passion gets put on the back burner waiting to be ignited.  It is so easy to put your needs last while you tend to everything else.  I am sure by the end of the day/week you are so drained emotionally that the thought of even shaving your legs for the ‘event’ is exhausting.  Some of you may be a morning person whiles others would enjoy a middle of night romp.  I like the early evening or middle of the night roll over myself.  I have had time to sleep some of my day away, I am half asleep and I am not expected to do much.  Pretty pathetic, huh?  My husband is gung ho in the morning, (which by the way is natural seeing that their testosterone levels are built up from the night and frankly why would that turn me on) I feel that he will figure it out with or without my assistance.  You see where I am going with this.  We take for granted that our other half is content with the way things have become.  Maybe it is an unwritten rule of long time unions.  I don’t know.  I do know that we all have passion within us just waiting to be unleashed.  We need some incentive, some sort of motivation, some intimacy to get the juices flowing.  I always tell my husband that I get turned on when he doesn’t speak!  I know, pretty harsh.  But sometimes he just puts his size tens in his mouth!  Or he is there physically but you know by the body language he would rather be watching sports and making unnecessary noises in his ‘man’ room.  I am just as guilty as he.  I much prefer to watch a rerun of one my favorite shows then take the time and energy to perform.  I always plan on turning over a new leaf etc. but then something happens.  Life gets in the way.

Ciao!

Ladies, have you ever composed different scenes in your head.  You know, ones of rescue and romance.    Hmmmm…it is okay to fantasize…in fact it is quite healthy for a marriage.  If I didn’t dream up crazy scenarios, my husband and I would be a sexless married couple!!  There is nothing wrong in re-enacting the scene in your mind of Richard Gere (from the movie An Officer and a Gentleman) busting down the front door and rescues you from the piles of laundry you have been doing for 15 straight years!  Ooooh, how about when Kevin Costner from Robin Hood is determined to get his Maid Marion….Oh and for you Sex and the City fans…what about when Big went to Paris to profess his love to Carrie during the last season?   I have to say that my husband is not a very romantic person.  He just isn’t built that way.  To no fault of his own, he just wasn’t exposed to that as a young boy growing up.  His father was a watered down version of Archie Bunker with an english accent.  Anyways, fantasies and such are harmless ways of staying in touch with that side of you.  It gives you a boost of friskiness.  I can’t speak for you out there, but I need all the help I can get!  As a matter of fact, I am about to watch a movie right now!

Ciao!

That’s how it was when I met and decided I was going to marry my now husband.   I just knew I was going to marry him.  There was an instant jolt that went through me.  I was reeled in by his boyish smirk and of course the take charge way he handled me.  Now mind you it wasn’t just me….I  came with a ready made family.  That would be the true test of grit!  He passed with flying colors.  I dated a variety of characters before I found him.   I dated a stripper, (unbeknown to me) a racist, (he wanted to make sure my children were of a certain race) a don juan who felt me up under the table during our first and only date at dinner and a man, who come to find out, still lived with his mother.  Oh and the one who took me to Denny’s on our first and last date.  My husband and I have endured many ups and downs throughout the years but we love and respect one another.  We are best friends in every sense of the word and we fight like ones too!  There is a security knowing that someone is there for you no matter what occurs.  I don’t know what I would do without him.  We have a great family and a fantastic life.  If it weren’t for those dating mishaps I wouldn’t have seen what fate put in front of me.  There are times I could throw in the towel or better yet a frying pan at his head but I won’t.  We have a beautiful thing going on here and I can only hope others can see that in there own marriage as well.

Ciao!

Scooter strikes again.  He set his sights on the boy who wasn’t aware of his talents.  You see, we had a July 4th cookout and amongst the guest were children.  This makes for a happy beagle because he starts scoping out the prospects.  He watches and waits.  He narrows down his unassuming victims by the way they carelessly watch their food.  How they are sharing stories, laughing, playing and of course not focusing on their food!  He doesn’t approach right away…he stays far enough away where he isn’t noticed while everyone positions themselves around tables and the pool.  Then he sees his chance….the poor fool who has to leave his plate to get a drink!  He slowly approaches and before I make the connection between the empty chair and a missing body, it is too late.  He has struck.  My husband runs towards the beagle but the crying has started, kids are covering there plates and of course I am just laughing in the background.  I knew full well this would occur.  The beagle has a way of blending in to where you let your guard down.  He outsmarts us more than I would like to admit.   I know what you are thinking, why wasn’t he crated for a time.  Well, like I said, he is good at blending in.  He lays low, keeps his snout out of trouble and waits.  You get comfortable that it is going so smoothly.  Heck, I even moved inside chairs to a guest room so he couldn’t do a grab and run of the food that was displayed on the dining table.  But it doesn’t matter how clever I am.  He gets me every now and again.   Beagles are notorious garbage dogs.  He could eat himself to death.  He never knows when he has had enough.  I feed him what is recommended and a high premium food.  Why isn’t this dog satisfied??   When he does get his grubby paws on table food, he is sick to his stomach and gets runny stools.   But it doesn’t stop him the next time.  We often wonder why he would continue to do it if he gets sick…doesn’t he remember how it makes him feel, etc…  I think he just likes the challenge.  The next cookout he will size up his next victim.  He will make some unsuspecting kid cry and I will probably be in awe at how good his is.   Even though I think he is a block head, we love him dearly.  He is always giving us a story.  I am sure to have one soon.

Ciao.

That is what I wonder aloud quite often to my husband.  Harsh you say…no, just honest.  After years of togetherness and marriage you would think that your significant other would know you by now.  How could he not know when I am PMSing to make life a little easier for me.  I am drained sometimes emotionally with the kids, the dogs and the wacky dysfuntional clan I am related to.  Wouldn’t you love for your man to take charge of those things that sometimes sap your emotional energy.  The fun suckers, the blood suckers, the energy suckers, etc…  I just would like to be heard without having to say anything.  Maybe we hold back and expect our minds read.  That works for me!!  Here is my take on it…after all this time, your loved one should know the clues to a potential breakdown.  They should know when to step it up a notch and be the hero.     Even though I can hold my own with the boys, I am still a girlie girl.  I want to be pampered, doors opened for me, walk beside me and not ahead of me and a warm (not hot) bubble bath for two would be nice.

I have to believe he knows… or a truck really did back up over his head!